Just laughing at myself for being excited about a walk.

I'm finding myself intrigued at my own self tonight.

I decided I would go to the gym. And I was excited about that decision.  Each step I took to get there made me even more excited - putting on the shorts, the socks, searching for headphones.

I'm tired and feeling pretty full from two Christmases, plus my body is hurting.  Despite this I felt I had every reason to go. A walk/jog/run would help me feel energized, happy, and ready for bed later on; healthier, encourage healthier eating and more water consumption.  Getting back to a WJR workout makes me so much more conscious about my body and what I need to do to keep it strong and in limited (or none at all!) pain.

These feelings also make me curious about all of the studies that confirm "people who stretch more likely to be normal weight" or of similar ideas like "people who wear sunscreen less likely to be diabetic." Those are just examples, but each have two examples of a health related behavior.  If you are stretching, you are probably already taking the time to fit in exercise or dancing, and while you are exercising you are probably monitoring food intake and overall managing weight.  So, of course those people who stretch are normal weight. It's an activity that is a prereq of sorts to another, likely healthier in my untrained mind, good-for-your-body activity.

Dreaming of a White Christmas, But Not a White Winter. Also, Snow and Government Work

Do you ever hear reports about bad weather and hope that if you don't actually see anything on television or hear the radio that it may not come true?

Well, for some reason that has been my attitude this week. This nor'easter is blanketing now from the Carolinas north, and even DC is looking at getting up to 6 inches of snow. That is a lot!  I have heard anything ranging from clouds to rain to a few inches to up to 2-3 feet.

While snow is very pretty to watch fall, I despise it when it comes to my driveway and walkways and driving in general. Can you be NIMBY about snow?  We had an 8 inch storm a few weeks ago, and that finished me off for the year. Heavy, wet snow that had to be shoveled in rain.   It could be a long winter.

However, I have to admit that I am childishly excited it will be snowing on Christmas!

......

When I heard that this winter was supposed to be wildly snowy, I cringed.  Not solely because of my opinion toward snow, but more because of the financial drain it is going to be on local municipalities.  In "normal" or "average" winters the snow removal budgets are blasted through, and in a year with large deficits to begin with, it looks like the cuts may have to be a lot deeper.  I've been a fan of small government, but not this locally and at these deep cuts!

Also on the subject of cuts, I recently found out that while the State government is laying off thousands, the DOT is actually hiring, and in some programs actually will be filling positions of more than double the current roles. It is strange occurances like this that make me feel better about Civil Engineering being pretty secure.

All I Want for Christmas is a New Job

"I don't want a lot for Christmas
There's just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree"
               - Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You

Since being laid off, I've had the feeling that the job search has been easier as a professional than it was as a college student.

1. Focus (Part I)- I have one goal right now. That goal is to find stimulating, challenging, full-time work in Worcester, Central Mass, Boston, or somewhere along the commuter rail line. That's it. It's all I do, save getting in a work out and subbing when I am called it.  Subbing starts at 7:10 and ends at 1:43. It is not like I need to do homework, organize a philanthropy event, attend the Panhellenic Council meeting, or work on my senior project.  After waking up, I hop on my computer and map out the strategy for the day's search. Anything else I do is icing on the cake.
   
2. Focus (Part II) - When I was in college, I had no clue what I wanted to do.  I had a vague idea of what I did not want to do (structural design, waste water) rather than what I did want to do (anything else within civil engineering).  So this challenging work I want?  I now know that I am seeking opportunity erelated to infrastructure and potentially involving water at some level. When I think of infrastructure, my focus is on transportation including airports, highways, and public transit systems. When I think of water, I am thinking anywhere between where does water runoff a surface all the way to watershed and water supply issues.
3. Scheduling - Class at 9, 10, and 2 makes it difficult to schedule interviews without sacrificing time in class - with seven week terms missing one class sometimes felt like falling up to a week behind. ____
   
4. Experience - I have about 18 months of professional, post-collegiate experience in addition to three summer internships. This puts me at a strange middle to apply for jobs, as I am within the 0-2 years of experience range, in addition to the 1-3 years and 2-5 years. However, being within that window I am far more open to other opportunities!  Recently, I met with an organization for an informational interview.  My belief was that I would only be eligible for X position.  When they considered my experience and Engineer In Training certification  I was suddenly an X+1 or X+2 position! I'd be cheap entry level labor, or I could come in at my own professional level and hold my own.
   
5. Transportation - This time around, I actually own a car. I don't need to rely on the generosity and trust of my friends to borrow a car or ask for a ride.  There is no need to throw off family schedules to get a car delivered. 
6. Networking - I had the opportunity to meet and develop relationships with some great people while I had been at WPI.  Though the alumni is an amazing group of people, it is still a smaller corner of the world. Coming out of college everyone knows you are looking for work, but after a layoff there is considerably more sympathy.  I've found this to be extensively so as the unemployment numbers worsened.  I think it was also to my advantage that I was open to a lot more opportunities and was keeping positive about job prospects.  Saying I had been "laid off and searching" garnered sympathy, but being "in transition" and "finding that open door" as well as understanding what I wanted to do seemed to throw open a few hidden doors. Thank you growing up in politics and sorority recruitment for helping me feel comfortable talking to anyone, anywhere, about anything.
   

Everything of course has its advantages and disadvantages.  Being laidoff was a let down, but I knew I had to attack the job search aggressively and with a positive attitude to make headway, nevermind actually get a job. As we are close to the holiday, I am under the impression that my Christmas wish may have been answered!

On Pop Music, a Once a Year Party, and a Rough Career/Education Outline

I was reminded today that driving in the left lane on the Mass Pike combined with excellent jams turned up pretty high makes it pretty easy to exceed my intended speed.

I also was  pretty close to teary eyed during the Dixie Chicks' Traveling Soldier.  When was the last time you heard Dixie Chicks on the radio?

I love Beyonce. I love Lady Gaga. Together? I love it.  They each seem to have a song featuring the other.  Lady Gaga's Telephone was on the radio today and I fell in instant love.  I'm discovering I have a place in my heart for super catchy music. Like Miley Cyrus Party in the USA. At least it is out in the open now!  My favorite place to have heard that song?  Dueling piano bar in Chicago.  Every single girl in the bar knew all the words. So fun to be a part of.

New Year's plans are in place - a ticket/pair of tickets is reserved. Looking forward to actually reaching my destination this year. I brought in 2009 with the MBTA!  Fun story, though I am not sure I want to do it again.

Finally re-rolled the ball on the application for a Certificate in Business Administration. I feel like it is going to have a significantly higher ROI than an MBA that doesn't really apply to me at this point in my career.  I'll save all of the major debt for a Civil Enginering focused Master's Degree.  Still need to research programs.  I have two in mind, but only one would be able to be completed in person long term.  Lots of time between now and then - but I KNOW I want that degree. I'm impressed that potential employers are impressed with my interest to get some formal education in business.  I ultimately want to manage projects and be a larger cog in the corporate/government wheels and on top of the technical base I know I will need to develop some sort of business acumen.

A little bit here, there, and everywhere.

A few thoughts while I am thinking of them.

Books

1. Just finished yet another Jennifer Weiner book, In Her Shoes.  As someone with a younger sister and struggling with the challenges of the relationships with someone so much the same and so different, I think it really felt close to home. Nevermind the fact that Weiner is so captivating in her writing.  Her heroines are real, with all of their flaws.  Sometimes they play the stereotypes a bit much (all brains, not as much beauty, or at least not smaller than a size 12), but then again stereotypes come from somewhere. Loved the book.  Satisfied at the ending, though it did seem slightly abrupt - don't endings always - I wish it could have continued on.
2. Totally looking forward to reading Dirty Girls on Top by Alisa Valdez-Rodriguez. That will keep me busy between classes while I am substitute teaching. 
3. About 75 pages or so into the Katherine Graham autobiography. What a strange family dynamic the Meyers had! I think there is a lot to be said about decades of difference in society. I am so far a fan of Eugene Meyer's life section plan, where you spend some time exploring, the next section in industry maing it big, and then finalizing your career in public service of some kind. The thought is great. I'm very interested to keep learning about the family. 
4. Thankfully the library is forgiving overdue fees through December 28.

Home Ec

1. Remember all the excitement about "at home dry cleaning" products like Dryel? I was thinking about the number of chores that need to be taken care of and dry cleaning is high on the list.  I am curious at how well it works, and for what articles of clothing.  I know I have two coats that need to make it to the dry cleaners, and I've unfortunately developed a desire for nice clothes that require additional cleaning outside of a washer and dryer.
   
2. Still trying to figure out why water spills all over by the washer and the sink.  Potential hypothesis:
1. Laundry and dishwasher running at the same time
2. Laundry and shower running at the same time
3. Overloaded washing machine
4. ?????? Magic ??????

Calendar

1. Boyfriend is home this week after eight/nine months in training for the Air Force!
2. Christmas is less than two weeks away. 
3. New Years is less than three weeks away! So far I think a plan is in place. Unfortunately it will not be Vegas, but given the current unemployment that would not have happened anyhow.
   

Slowing down so maybe someday I can go faster

It took a while to get there, but I finally made it to the gym again today - a week later.

My body in every sense feels amazing. I feel alert. Happier. Stronger. Leaner. Healthier. Dare I say, sexier?

I've been subject - rather I've subjected myself - to a wide variety of repeating injuries and muscular imbalances including my knees, back, and left shoulder. Last Wednesday at the conclusion of the snow storm, shoveling took its toll.  Yes, I know, "bend with your knees and not your back", but shoveling eight inches of heavy, wet snow in the freezing rain unfortunately ruins my form. Result: aggravated, sore lower back. I sound older than my parents with that one.

I think the hardest part of going back to the gym, aside from trying to rebuild the habit, is getting back into workouts slowly.  I miss running. And running fast. And training for races. But I've realized since July or August that maybe walking is going to be a lot better for me, even if it is a lot less glamorous and athletic than running.  The pain isn't there after a workout. I know I am putting in the time and working out as part of a healthy lifestyle. I love this feeling good, instead of feeling hurt.

Taking it slow is a challenge to someone so used to competition. I think in the end, and even as soon as the end of the workout, I'm satisfied.  Not quite sure I could have said the same thing after the "go fast" workouts.

Middle school subbing, Day 4

Today I was a substitute teacher at a local middle school.  I was assigned the in-house suspension room and had as few as three kids to as many as six.  Most of the day there were five. When I looked at the room number on the sub sheet, I held my breath, hoping for the best for the rest of the day. I had been bracing for the in-house room since the day before; I'd been warned.

Surprisingly, the kids were well behaved and did all of their assigned work.  Well, some read quietly but I'll take reading when they are in middle school.  There were two kids in particular, and maybe even three now that I think about it, who really stuck out.  Once we got to talking ("about life", they requested. "Mr. So-and-so usually does") at the end of the day, it became clear that these are good kids who are having a hard time.  Or aren't getting the help that they need.  Or are not getting the attention at home or from school.  There's a divorce, a parent in jail, denial that a student has mental/physical health issues, family deployed, the list could go on.  Never mind just being 12 and 13 years old, these kids are dealing with a lot more. 

I know the teachers are doing their best and mean well, and only from my limited experience as a sub do I see the challenges they face at the secondary level with not just 25 kids at once, but sometimes more than 100 a day. How are you able to give each individual attention and teach all of them?

Days like today I just want to take the hands of a thousand kids and help them through school. 

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Oh, and winning.

I love accomplishing, achieving, winning, and beating goals.  Outside of relationships, they are probably my favorite things in life.  I generally have two types of goals I am setting.  The first type is a "big goal" and the second an "everyday" goal.

My big goals are, not surprisingly, big goals. Get a job. Keep paying down the mortgage and the car. Lose ten to twelve pounds. Become a Professional Engineer. I can't accomplish these without the little things.

The everyday goals give me the continual motivation to just keep on going toward what really matters. Clean the house? I know I need to sweep five rooms, do laundry and the dishwasher, put away pots and pans, wash the baseboards. Finding the job? Working networking opportunities, searching, writing cover letters, revising the resume, selecting companies. Knocking those tasks off my list really makes my day!

When I played college Field Hockey, my dream goal was lofty - win a D3 championship.  You'd have to likely win the conference to earn a bid to the NCAA tourney.  Winning the conference meant winning big games, nationally ranked teams. I didn't want to just be on a team that won a championship, I wanted to be a contributing player. A starter. And that required commitment in the off season, spring season, and obviously in season.

My summers consisted of three to five double sessions a week to get my body conditioned to needing to be available for more than one workout in pre-season.  Long runs for endurance in the morning, and focused skill workouts and speed development after work. On weekends, I waited to do my workouts until midday and early afternoon.  It just seemed worth it. Played in a league with the team once a week, and we commonly played pick up once a week as well.  When late August rolled around, I wasn't just in shape, I was ready to dominate.

Unfortunately we never made it out of the conference. I am in awe of the teams and student athletes that make it so much further. Boyfriend's oldest younger sister has two D3 championships. How cool is that?!

I am watching the SEC Championship Game, Alabama beating Florida in the fourth quarter. Tonight's win isn't the big goal.  It is just the current step in winning the national championship.  Watching the UCLA v. Stanford women's soccer semi finals yesterday had me close to teary eyed thinking about what it felt like to be so near the pinnacle of your sport.

Originally, I had wondered what the feeling was to be at the pinnacle of the sport, but even a win in that game only guaranteed finishing in at least second place. I'm reminded of when Cal Bouchard, former Boston College point guard who played for the Canadian Olypic team in Sydney (2000). I can't find the article that was in the Globe, but she wrote about how wonderful so many people thought it was to have the ability to play in the Olympics.  Her thoughts on the subject (as I recall almost 10 years later) were that it was an honor to play for your country, but that the real point is to win gold, see the Canadian flag waving high, and hear the national anthem played.  Everything along the way is just part of the grander plan.

One of my favorite lines of the Alpha Gamma Delta's purpose: "To possess high ideals and to attain somewhat unto them". Go big.  If you don't get there, at least there are the small victories along the way.

Although the big ones are pretty nice, too.

One man's trash is another's treasure.

Upon filing for unemployment, I attended a "mandatory" session to be able to use the career center (CC) that the unemployment office was housed in.  The session didn't offer me significant and new information, but I would imagine it was helpful for someone who was with a company for 20 years, didn't have significant skills, education, or experience, or just got out of jail.

I'm very big into making the best out of everything, so what did exactly did I learn? I did take away that I can go to school full time, stay on unemployment, and no longer apply to at least three jobs a week.  There was also the reality at how fortunate I was to have a grasp on the small things - understanding how to use a computer and the internet, for example. It dawned on me that not everyone has that ability, even if it is 2009.

Most of the presentation centered on taking advantage of the website, library, and how to utilize these resources.  Professional behavior was one topic they briefly discussed - and it floored me because they started the meeting ten minutes early.  I felt my time (though no longer chargeable to a job) was taken advantage of.  A strict "on-time" policy was outlined and the instructor was late in starting the meeting.  She pleasantly shared during the presentation that the meeting didn't officially start until 10 past the hour. It seemed silly to me, but alas, it is apparently how they do business.

I took advantage of the opportunity to speak with someone about my job search and resume.  This is someone whose occupation was helping others get to work! There was no reason to pass up a chance for another opinion.  Had I not been so privileged to have such incredible resources at my undergraduate institution and great guidance along the way, it would have been a great session. The woman who worked with me was very intent on making sure I had every tool available. I didn't need to take up a lot of her time because I passed some of the basic tests - professional email account, actually had a resume and good experience, and was on time. My hope is that someone else could be helped, or that this woman had a few minutes to breath - her pile of applications was pretty hefty.

I think that career center is a fantastic resource for a lot of people.  If only there was a way to demonstrate you knew the basic material... Perhaps better luck next time on my account?

Because the Folgers isn't ready until I make it.

I've discovered that the best way to start my day is making my bed.

1. My room just looks cleaner and neater with a made bed. 
2. Everything in its place makes me feel a little less stressed out.
3. I've already accomplished one thing on my day's to-do list!
4. I'm refreshed from the night before - I could just climb in under neat sheets and quilt. 
5. I feel less incentive to climb back in under the covers. 

Technically, I weigh myself first. It's not too bad. Oh, another reason:

• If my weight didn't cause some excitement I can redirect my attention on something else (kind of) positive.

"The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup!" In reality, I would love a coffee from Dunkies. every. single. day.  Cutting expenses means cutting the coffee someone else makes. But at least my bed is made in the morning!

Early thoughts on change and growth.

I am incredibly curious how the business of engineering will change as the country and the world are slowly (and probably for the better) climbing out of the recession. I'd imagine that as business as a whole changes, it will be shadowed in the engineering industry. Will it even change?  Risk is risk and there will always be people willing to go far out on the branch and consistently take the big chances.  As for me, I rely a lot on data and the experience of others. My risk aversion is pretty high. I can't take the plunge into the next big thing. It was after reading Made to Stick  by Dan and Chip Heath that I felt better about that idealogy.  If I am recalling the correct book (and I am hoping I am not mixing it up with Good to Great, as I was terribly disappointed with it), it is not what is on the market first that has the greatest success.  The success is born through improvement in process, design, feedback, etc.  It almost gives the rest of us normal people a hope to compete.  Knowing it is cliche, slow and steady wins the race.  I love slow, steady, measured. My personality is very go-go-go, and it is such a strange contrast with my feelings on growth and expansion - in business and personal life. I wonder why that is?

Real life realizations. Also, an accidental reading list.

I realized yesterday while filing for unemployment that I am starting my fourth week of unemployment.  The thought of being without work that long is a little dizzying, and it has hardly been a vacation. I'd heard rumors of job hunting to be a full time experience.  Those who say so truly mean it.  It is easy to fall into early on during the unemployment "game", as you start to look at postings that have been listed for over a month. As the layoff continues, the energy and excitement and possibilities start to slow down.  There is seemingly not as much opportunity compared to the first few days.

I feel fortunate that I have been educated in a field that is still hiring people. Granted, this hiring is largely predicated by federal stimulus funds, but it is hiring.

I am also curious about the sudden and huge (and the way the media has described it, unexpected) drop in the unemployment rate. I love when they show the underemployment statistics because it shapes the picture a little better.  In that case, it is not as rosy, but the artistry becomes a little more realist and slightly less impressionist.

My reading list is a little long, and I owe the Worcester Public Library a few books.  Most recent reads have been fun and entertaining - smart, but couldn't be classifed as literary. I've come to love Marian Keyes of late, and the current read, The Other Side of the Story, is so far my favorite. I'd read Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married previously.  I thought there was another book, but I must be remembering all of my choices at the WorcPubLib. I've also read Jennifer Weiner recently (Certain Girls) and I had been hoping to read Katherine Graham's autobiography, but that will need to be returned so it can be taken out again. On the side I also have Twilght (I couldn't help but be curious about the hype) and The Great Bridge by David McCullough.  His writing makes me feel like I am on an A Christmas Carol-like adventure watching Roebling work.  It is in the way where I feel as if I am in the scene, but nobody in it feels I am there.  My take-outs today included a book on "toughest interview questions", the only book I haven't read by Alisa Valdez-Rodriguez, Dirty Grils on Top, the book on facebook The Accidental Billionaires, and the Brazen Careerest - The NEW Rules for Success by Penelope Trunk. Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist has to be my favorite blog. Of late it has been difficult to identify with as she is discussing working with Asperger's Syndrome, but it IS eyeopening to have sort of a view into someone's world.

Looking to get into a little research in the next few weeks. Learn more about myself and the industry.  Hopefully with some gym time I'll also become a better basketball player! Well, at least against myself, for now.